I feel the need to get this off the chest. I am sick and
tired of sanctimonious “Christians” who give good believers a bad name. I don’t
feel the need to explain or justify my faith to anybody and respect all other
beliefs. Faith is not what causes pain and tribulation in our world; it’s
fundamentalism and hypocritical zealotry. Sunday I was in Wimberley, TX with my
cousin whose house had 12 feet of water in it from the Memorial Day flood. At
that point she wasn’t even sure her house could be saved, but they were tearing
out everything out down to the studs. She needed help, and wonderful people, many from local and area churches, were bringing food and supplies and generously offering to do the dirty work
required. At one point a silver haired fellow with a church logo on his t-shirt
came up with some other folks and offered the help of his group. I am calling
him Mr. Fullaself. We gladly welcomed them. He said they would be happy to help
but wanted a prayer circle first. I thought that was very nice and joined
everyone else who was out in the driveway in a circle where we held hands. He
gave a brief prayer and we dropped hands and started to go back to work. But he
said; “Now I would like to say a few more words.” At this point my thought was
“uh oh.” He proceeded to give a little sermon of sorts in which one thing he
said really stood out. He said “God will
not take something away without giving you something even better to take its
place.” OK at that point I wanted to throttle him. I wanted to say, and wish I
had said, “Is that true for Jonathan McCord and all the other people who have
lost loved ones in this flood? Is God going to give Jonathan a BETTER son,
daughter, and wife?” My good feelings were turning to anger. Next he proceeded
to ask if we had all been saved, and gave a rendition of the plan of salvation,
which I recognized well from my Baptist upbringing. People stirred a bit in
discomfort. He began pointing to each person and saying this: “If you die
tonight do you know where you will go? Will you go to heaven or hell? Do you
BELIEVE in heaven and hell?” He was asking each of us this one by one, literally
jabbing his finger at every person in turn around the circle. By this point I was
appalled. I gave my cousin a look across the circle. I could tell she was
hanging in because she NEEDED help. He pounced on a young Hispanic woman and
her daughter from San Antonio who had driven over knowing no one, just to lend
a hand wherever needed. They had been my partners in a dish
washing/disinfecting assembly line process prior to the interruption. It was
clear they were uncomfortable and likely not even understanding his
Christinista lingo. I spoke out and said, “I am comfortable in my faith and
have no worries for the hereafter for myself OR for my daughter who is inside
ripping out carpet and just happens to be gay. I know we will be fine.” I never
pass up a chance to call out Christianistas for their judgment of gays. Then I
walked away, noticing with a pang that he had pulled the mother/daughter team
over to the side to browbeat them some more. When he was finally done I went to
my dishwashing friends and told them how sorry I was for what had happened and
thanked them profusely for their help. What an example of Christian charity
THEY were demonstrating by just being there to help us out.
Once this ordeal was finished, Mr. Fullaself approached my
cousin and said he was a retired contractor and would be happy to advise her
about the state of her house. She accepted because this was her biggest concern
and she wanted information from someone familiar with situations like hers. He
proceeded to walk her though the house giving her very dismal pronouncements
about the sorry state of her place, ending up with the conclusion that it might
well be a teardown. Then he left. HE DID NOT DO A LICK OF WORK. His “crew”
stayed and we were grateful for their help. I am telling myself they were
embarrassed by his conduct, but nobody said anything to diminish the damage he
had brought to everyone’s spirits. I feel sure he went to other locations doing
the same, and since then has been telling everybody about the great help he has
been able to provide to so many people as they try to recover from the flood.
Late that afternoon the REAL contractor who will be helping
rebuild my cousin’s home came by and was able to give her much better news and
describe how her house could most certainly be saved. It entered my mind that
maybe Mr. Fullaself wanted to take my cousin down a notch or two because she
clearly had a very nice place right on the creek.
Here are some suggestions for people who want to help out
after a disaster:
1.
Do not turn this into a time to proselytize.
It’s fine to say you are from a church of course! After that it’s time to say
“Now what can we do?” Churches all over the area mobilized, organized, and
played a huge part in recovery in all affected areas. This is still going on.
2.
Do not tell people that the disaster happened as
part of God’s plan and that he never gives you more than you can handle. That
is so trite and patently untrue for many. God is not wiping out your family to
make you stronger. He/she is not that sort of egoistic celestial puppeteer. My
cousin is family friends with the McCords. Her children have been searching
every day for their friends and all victims. Jonathan’s wife and son were
found, but not yet his daughter. You never know when you can say something that
is terribly hurtful and inappropriate.
3.
DO NOT SAY GOD IS GONNA GIVE YOU SOMETHING
BETTER. There will be no children, wives, fathers, or siblings 2.0 to replace
those lost.
4.
DO show up even if you’re not up to heavy
lifting, shoveling, etc. There are jobs for everybody. Also, I watched my
cousin greet friends who just dropped by to say they were thinking of her and
maybe pass the time for a short while. She really appreciated those breaks from
the hard work at hand. Before I left Tuesday, she was already counting her
blessings, and one was the chance to reconnect with people who were coming by
and get in short visits. She did NOT mention being blessed by a sanctimonious
hypocrite.
OK I’m done with this particular rant. If you made it all
the way through, thanks for reading!
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